Thank you Jamie for the following interview. May it speak to someone reading it, the way it spoke to me, inspiring me to share.
" adults cant be abandandoned...children can...you're not a child...you're an adult."....I learned that tonight....and it really hit home. So the anxiety i feel...over the thought of being left...is a lie...it's an illusion....an illusion that holds me hostage again and again.
I allow myself to be mistreated...rather than be left...abandoned. As i get in touch with the reasons for this phenomenon, it all means nothing if i dont decide...if i dont choose to do something differently.
"What does that mean ?" I ask....not so much because i dont know, as much as for confirmation of some things i, myself am dealing with on a daily basis.
Jamie goes on to explain that she intellectually understands that the emotions she has built an altar to and worships on the regular are based on False Evidence Appearing Real (FEAR). That is just as valuable as intellectually understanding that eating chocolate chip cookies in bed at 10:30 pm is not a great idea. The information doesnt become helpful until action is taken.
Then begs the question...what do u do? How do you get over the fear of abandonment? " I dont know the textbook answer", Jamie says " but i can tell you what i'm going to do "
Jamie says that the first thing on her list is to talk to herself...YES...TALK TO HERSELF. She explained that she is currently in a challenging relationship where she often feels emotionally abused but because of her abandonment issues, she has repeatedly settled, tolerated, and sucked up more than her share of poor treatment. When those fears come up, Jamie says she is going to speak out loud to herself until she gets her emotions under control so that she can change her usual response. "um....what will you say to yourself that will change something you are so used to doing?"
Jamie's answer only surprised me because it was profound...but practical...." ...lo, I am with you always, even until the end of the world" She said that reminding herself that Jesus Christ was always going to be with her...no matter what, was her plan. All i could say was....why didnt i think of that?