Sunday, October 2, 2011

I choose.

Change is hard...but not changing is harder! when i look back on the drama that is the last six months of my life, i almost cant believe the main character i'm cheering on is me.  Twists and turns...more downs than ups....and countless...literally countless tears chronical an otherwise unenventful existence.  The most interesting  part of the sentence i just typed is that right after the word became a complete lie. My life has been alot of things...uneventful notsomuch.  I've been around the world and ayiayiayi...( pronounced i i i ) i've met some amazing people....and some not so amazing ones.  I have loved and been loved and i'm not even half way done...but i digress.

Where were we?  Oh yes...I was talking about the last six months...or rather the fact that this is a new day...a new month, a new season.  Good and bad choices and the consequences thereof are what's left of yesterday.  Determination marks start of tomorrow.  In this moment, i am choosing perspective.  The facts are the same but i get to decide whether to embrace Truth or lies.  The facts are as follows;  I have made a series of bad decisions.  Because of those decisions, nothing will ever be the same.  Another fact is that i am only responsible for my choices and i did not arrive at this place alone.  i have also become painfully aware of how my choices affect my children and for this, i am sorry.  Now for the Truth.  1. God has good plans for me...ONLY good plans for me.  2.  No weapon formed against me, however clever, sublime, or well disguised shall prosper.  It is not possible.  Even what is meant to cause me harm can only work together for my good. This is Truth and i choose to embrace it with everything i have.  I will embrace it, believe it and walk it out .

There is more to this declaration...but i also pause.

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